Diary of a Neobody – April 24th, 2112

Hello diary.

The conference was a complete success.  We managed to pick up four clients looking to us to mediate between them and space-based industries, with interest from at least seven others.  As such, the office has been rather busy lately.  It’s still a relatively new area for us, so everyone’s still learning some of the little details.

On that same note, I’ve started sitting in on the pseudo-seminars that are held in the company building on the subject.  Mostly, they consist of your average employee instructional videos, but usually there’s someone ‘in the know’ there to help explain the ins-and-outs.  With the new focus for our office being Earth-Space mediation, there have been some rather full meetings over the last couple of weeks, so I’ve been going along with the others from the office.  Usually, I’d just download the details, but if I’m trying to be a bit more human, I should be trying to avoid doing that.  Shouldn’t I?

Either way, the others are taking advantage of my being there; in effect, they’re all using me as a sentient notepad, since my memory’s more efficient than theirs.  I don’t really mind to be honest; in the past, when people have gone to these seminars, they’ve all ended up asking someone else for things they forgot.

Maybe I should do a condensed version of the presentations to our office alone – apparently it’s easier to ask questions of people you know, rather than someone you don’t surrounded by unfamiliar faces.

Speaking of unfamiliar faces, we’ve been sent two interns who’re staying for the next two months.  One of them had already heard of me; she saw my press ‘unveiling’ back in January, and is apparently a member of a couple of the low-key robo-rights groups in the city.  I didn’t realise I had fans, but now, here’s one working with me.  It’s strange, to be sure, but she seems quite nice, and new friends are always welcome.

The second intern had not heard of me, and I’m rather ashamed to admit that I was a little disappointed when he said as much.  Fame went to my head in a matter of minutes, it seems.

On the subject of things ‘going to my head’, I’ve been watching more AGR, at Daniel’s insistence.  He does make compelling arguments; I’m beginning to find it far more interesting than the other brands of racing.

Now, when accidentally tuning into the late-evening commentaries, I actually understand what they’re talking about; I take this as a sign that I’m becoming far more engrossed in it than I thought.

On what I suppose is yet another tangentially related note, I’ve decided to learn to drive!  I had my first lessons last night.  The instructor was slightly surprised that I wasn’t just going to download driving details to my memory; I explained that I felt it would be hypocritical.  He understood my point, but still thought it would make more sense to just download the information.

“’Droids don’t get paid as much as humans after all.  Be much cheaper to just plug yourself in, than trying to learn from me.  I mean, you’ll pick it up faster than anyone else, but still…”

I suppose I see his point as well – I don’t get paid an enormous amount, pretty much just enough to maintain myself and my flat, and save a little every month.  I’ve got enough, certainly, to cover lessons and maybe a second-or-more-hand car.

With money saved on the lessons, I’d be able to afford a more reliable car, and one I’d actually like.

The problem is my feelings of hypocrisy over it.  Though does the fact that I feel hypocritical about it make it ‘okay’?  Does recognising that I’m being something of a hypocrite, but taking advantage of my natural (artificial?) abilities to save myself money and time in enlightened self-interest, balance it out?  I suppose, in a quest to become more human, eventually I’d become at least partially self-interested.  And I suppose, hypocritical.

An android can’t be hypocritical, unless someone programmed him that way.  I suppose my emotions were programmed as well, and the way they’ve affected my learning and experience modules is, at least in part, predictable.  But at some point, the way I’ve changed due to my emotion implant has to be down to choices I’ve made, things I’ve done, does it not?  Is everything always a product of what a programmer wrote in my coding?  Can I be anything else?

I think I can.

I certainly hope I can.

Is using my perfect, easily added-to memory hypocrisy when, elsewhere, I am trying to be more ‘human’?  Does ignoring it completely just make me a fool?

I feel like I should talk to Grace, but then I’ve been using her as a crutch.

Though, isn’t that itself a human trait?  Relying on others for help, rather than just uploading something to your memory, like a normal android?

I’m going to have to talk to Grace.

I’m just confusing myself now.