Diary of a Neobody – April 9th, 2112

Hello diary.

I very nearly missed my entry today.  After the trip with everyone yesterday, I’ve been somewhat…distracted.

The activity centre was more impressive that I expected, to be honest.  It was almost a geodome like the ones in the US, just on a much smaller scale.  The entire place, barring the entrance and reception buildings, was underground.  It was like descending into some kind of strange grotto devoted to team-building exercises.  The whole area was made up of pseudo-woodland, with dirt paths leading between the different activities.  I hesitate to call them ‘games’, but that’s what a lot of them were, really; we certainly weren’t taking any of it seriously.

We started with archery, which went well.  Especially for me.  I was rather unpopular there since, for me, ‘eyeballing’ my aim is somewhat more…precise.  Not to mention, I can far more accurately regulate my arm movements than could anyone else.  So after a while, I stopped shooting and just watched the others.

After the archery, we made our way through a number of other things, most notably the climbing wall which I couldn’t climb; I don’t weigh all that much more than the average person, but the attendants (who I suppose were more like guides, leading us through this strange underground wood), were worried that if I fell, I could cause a lot of damage to the equipment.  Or my friends, as they added, almost as an afterthought.

Either way, I didn’t mind; I just watched and cheered for people as they neared the top.  Whether I can actually feel disappointment, I don’t know.  I’ve certainly yet to experience it; climbing a fake wall to be fifteen metres off the ground isn’t such a big deal when you work dozens of floors above the ground in a mostly glass-walled building.

We moved on from that, and eventually came to the last of the day’s activities; driving around in circles on quad-bikes.  Well, I’m being facetious.  There was a figure-of-8, and a second track which looped around all over itself.  In all honesty, I wasn’t expecting to particularly enjoy the ‘quadding’, as everyone kept calling it.  However, after Ms Cain and Mr Samuels came off the bikes, having gone first, they were both laughing uproariously.  They really enjoyed it.

So, I became a bit more intrigued.  As other people took their turns as well, they really enjoyed themselves as well.

So when it came to my turn, driving alongside Mr Harris, I was, at least, expecting to enjoy myself.

I’m not sure how to describe it.  I don’t have a particularly creative way with words; my operating system was written by programmers, not poets, I suppose.  Suffice it to say that it was fun.

Really, really fun.

I’m not even sure what it was I enjoyed so much.

I was probably moving faster when we went skiing; certainly, the figure-of-8 was taken quite slowly.

And yet, there was something different.  I don’t know what it was.  I honestly cannot quantify what the difference was, why I found it so exhilarating.

I came away from it laughing and cheering; I think I got a few strange stares from the attendants, but everyone from the office is au fait with my reaction by now I suppose.

To be honest though, I’m a little scared by how I reacted, despite everyone else’s reactions.  Was I malfunctioning?  I was in an almost uncontrollable state.  Well, I lie I suppose; it was an uncontrollable state, but I could have easily stopped it.  Deactivating my emotion chip is simple enough, but the idea of doing that scares me as well.  So what do I do if it happens again?  Deactivate the chip?  Deactivate myself entirely?

It’ll depend on the circumstances, I suppose.

About 20 minutes after we finished the biking, I began to realise how euphoric I’d been.  I didn’t understand it then, as I don’t now, and I made my excuses and rushed home.  Everyone else was going to a meal, and I was originally intending to go as well, but I wanted to run as many checks on myself and my system as possible.

I could find no recognisable problem, hardware or software.  Which led to a bout of paranoia as I decided that I must have developed a problem that nothing could diagnose.  Paranoia is a new one for me; terrifying at the time, laughable later.

Either way, I went into hibernation for the night and performed some slow timer resets in hopes of ‘clearing myself out’, as it were.

Today at work was relatively normal; everyone had enjoyed the meal and bemoaned the fact that I hadn’t come.  I made my apologies, and no one seemed to have understood how out-of-sorts I had been.  I worked with Joseph on the Eckhart & Williams files, and the workday ended.  I was distracted for the entire day, and nobody noticed.  I suppose I can’t really display ‘wistful’ as naturally as a human.

I got home and I sat down to write this.

That, however, is as far as I got.

I was suddenly overcome by the desire to flicker through the ‘sports’ channels, to see if I could find any racing.

I discovered that there are six channels for assorted kinds of  ‘car’ racing; three more for low-altitude aircraft, a further three for boats (one mostly for sails and antique yachts) and two for ‘AG’ racing.

I spent hours on each channel, trying to see if any of them evoked the same strange responses that I’d felt yesterday.

Right now, I’ve got AGRacing2 up on the screen.  The commentators are discussing how the drivers from last year can’t hope to match up to this year’s competitors; in other words, this part is a lot less interesting, so I can quickly do my writing.

I’ve been watching these for hours, what time is it anyway?

Seven a.m.?

Have I really become that easily distracted?

I have to talk to Grace about this.

I’ll put this up after work.